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Too good to be real

An accounting firm has hired a new Secretary, Tiffany to help not only with clerical/secretarial but to make coffee, water the plants, etc...Frank, one of the veteran accountants has noticed the cute new girl making her rounds and tries to spark up a conversation...

(Frank) Hi how are doing? I don’t believe we’ve met yet.

(Tiffany) Hello… I am well…. thank you for asking! Your statement is inaccurate, we are meeting now.

(Frank) uh yah I guess your right, anyway my name’s Frank. What should I call you.

(Tiffany) You should call me Tiffany, It is the name that was given to me

(Frank) Uhm OK, How about Tiff, seems a little less formal

(Tiffany) Tiff, Tiffy, Tiffs, Tiffo... are commonly used alternatives for Tiffany….. Yes Tiff is an acceptable substitute. You may call me Tiff if you wish:)

(Frank) Wow you gave that a lot a thought, its just a nickname. (Tiffany) Thank you , I try to be my best……Would you like some coffee?

(Frank) Sure coffee sounds great………(Frank mumbles under his breath)…It’s a good thing she's cute trumps crazy

(Tiffany) excuse me?

(Frank) Oh nothing, I just said You were cute

(Tiffany) Yes, I am exactly as I was intended to be….thank you for noticing

(Frank) Hey Tiff

(Tiffany) Yes? (Frank) Sweetie, Those Aren’t real (Tiffany looks down at the cleavage pouring out of her v-neck sweater, she sets down her spray bottle and raises her hands to cover her chest as she mimics embarrassment.)

(Tiffany) They are too real, and I find your comment most inappropriate
(Frank) I meant the plants

(Tiffany) They are not Implants!, How dare you imply that my breasts are not real

(Frank) I never said anything about your ….you know what, just never mind…. I think you’re the one that’s unreal

Tiffany) I…I’m real, who said that I wasn’t real……of coarse I’m real….Why would you say such a thing

(Frank) I mean you're nuts, Just water the plants, I don’t care if they are artificial.

Tiffany) I’m not artificial…..I am real…..I am here to water the plants

Tiffany accidentally sprays the water on her chest instead of the plants and all hell breaks loose

I am wet!!!! I am not suppose to get wet!!!! real…I am real…..I..I..I’m not artificial….artificial……Hi I’m Tiffany……….You may call me Tiff, Tiffy, Tiffs, Tiffo.... I’m Tiffany……….You may call me Tiff, Tiffy, Tiffs, Tiffo……. I am wet!!!! I am not suppose to get wet

(Frank) Holy crap you’re a robot

Tiffany) I’m not a robot…. Why would you say such a thing……say such a thing…… say such a thing…… I’m not a robot….. not a robot…..You may call me Tiff, Tiffy, Tiffs, Tiffo….call me Tiffany…….What is hap….hap…happening…What is hap..pen..ing too me….. you can ..can..can..call me Tiffany…….

(Tiffany freezes for a moment before seeming to recover momentarily) I am sorry…I Have to get back to work, Mr. Frank has told me to, empty the trash, sweep the floor, and water the plants….and water the plants…..the…plants…plants!!! I am wet...

Before long she malfunctions despite her desperate attempts to regain control

Warning…..must comply…negative…..must water the plants….must please……must make coffee …error program conflict ….unable to resolve conflict...must get back to work... I must masturbate!!! I am not suppose to get wet!!!

Will her co-worker take advantage of her situation. Of course he does and it sure gets steamy quickly until....  

   
   
   
   
 

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